It’s April Fool’s Day on Sunday! With years of experience pounding the streets our Customs officers between us we’re seen a fair few fools in our time. Here are some examples to provide some light VAT filled entertainment over the weekend...
· In pre-EU days a repayment trader was claiming VAT back on purchases of tractors exported to Ireland. All the export documentation was in order but strangely some of the tractors had ended up back in the UK being sold without VAT. It turned that the trader had been driving the tractors back over the land border through a muddy field in the dead of night with the risk of being shot at by the IRA or the security forces or perhaps both. Proper hands on tax planning!
· One trader seemed to be expecting a large outbreak of norovirus as they were found with a mountain of toilet paper stacked up floor to ceiling in the basement along with the rest of the stock. On closer inspection by a beady-eyed inspector the mountain of toilet rolls turned out to be makeshift false wall behind which was found six crates of extremely low-grade but highly illegal vodka. The shop owner first denied all knowledge and then hurriedly called his accountant who appeared with some handwritten invoices. However, the ink was still drying on these invoices and thus all the vodka was seized.
· A veteran of Chinese restaurant inspections (with the girth to prove it) carried out his usual spot checks on chits and carton orders. His instinct told him something was wrong – the till receipts were just too low for this kind of business. Braving the wrath of a cleaver wielding chef he ventured into the kitchen area and spotted a pig carcass with a small length of till receipt hanging from its rear end. Shuffling in closer he noticed stitches on the belly, which after a few quick tugs split apart to reveal a second till craftily hidden inside the pig! A sweet and sour experience all round.
